The use of language is so important in framing the narrative around To reduce the needless pressure and anxiety of this birthday we need to start by looking at how we actually talk about it. Youth is our currency — particularly for women. And for many millenials — it is our only currency. In fact, we have been robbed of most of the markers that in previous generations would have signified real, proper adulthood.
The relentless spiralling of property prices, the chronic instability of the job market and the looming shadow of Brexit have created the perfect conditions to trap millennials in a perpetual state of almost-adulthood. The crushing inadequacy of not having achieved enough. In the weeks leading up to my 30th birthday my internal monologue became almost unbearably self-critical. And slapping an arbitrary time-limit on myself was the opposite of helpful.
I watched the final weeks of my 20s flash by, the days pouring through my fingers with the sand-like quality we so often ascribe to the passage of time. What struck me the most in these weeks is how external these pressures actually are. I had felt fine about turning 30 until I started discussing it with friends and colleagues.
We are perpetuating these societal anxieties through how we talk to each other. A lot of these standards, though, are totally dictated by what we think we should be doing at a certain point in our lives. Like going over all of the things you think about right before turning Everyone does it.
Of course, 30 is still really young! Because, just like they did throughout your twenties, things change. We are all constantly setting goals and then re-working them, or coming up with new ones.
Finally quit smoking, drinking , having one-night stands, get your finances in order, etc. But there are exceptions to every rule. You will have to save money and make a plan, but you can change your life, and be more content with who you are and what you do.
You just have to have the discipline to execute your plan, and to stick with it. You have to run your own race, if you start comparing the trajectory of your professional or personal life with someone else's, you're just going to poison your mind and discourage and upset yourself. More importantly you're not focusing your attention and energy on accomplishing your goals and bettering yourself.
Simply focus on yourself and work hard every day. Your family, friends, colleagues, society at large, etc. For women especially, it's easy to feel a lot of pressure to be married or have a serious partner, to think about having children, etc. Do things on your timetable, focus on yourself, your self-improvement, and will help you become the person that you want to be, and your life will unfold the way it is supposed to. Live life on your own terms. I know your twenties get glamorized in the media, but it is a brutal decade.
The good news is, your learning curve is not as steep in your 30s, you have more of a sense of self and self confidence, the benefits of the lessons you learned in your twenties, and less patience for toxic people.
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