Extroverts require external stimulation to release the feel-good chemical dopamine in the brain, notes Buettner, which means that they are more likely to engage in adventurous behavior. As long as your escapades don't push the limits of what is safe, your natural inclination to take chances makes you an interesting and fun friend to have around. Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since , specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics.
She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M. Regardless of how old we are, we never stop learning. Classroom is the educational resource for people of all ages. Based on the Word Net lexical database for the English Language.
Think of something like: I've read that book. Great choice! I love those shoes. They go great with that skirt. Is that a hazelnut latte? Nice -- that's my go-to every Monday morning. Search for a common interest. First conversations between people are all about what the two parties have in common. In order to find out what you can talk about, you may have to probe for things you have in common. If you work together or have mutual friends or have anything that links you together, it should be a bit easier.
Talking about work, your mutual friend, or your common interest will open up further topics of discussion. If this person is a stranger, you could use the situation to help you come up with something to talk about.
For example, if you're in a bookstore, you could ask someone for a favorite reading recommendation. If you're both stuck in a long line, you could make a joke about it. Be careful to avoid comments that sound judgmental. Avoid things that are likely to seem offensive, such as comments on the person's size, skin color, or physical attractiveness. Pay attention to what excites people. If person A is dead set on talking about thermodynamics and person B is dead set on talking about Italian coffee, then the conversation isn't going to go anywhere.
One of these people has to latch on to the other person's interests. Take the initiative and be that person. When you're making small talk, try to notice when the other person perks up. You'll be able to hear it and see it. Their face will be more expressive and so will their voice and you'll probably see movement in their body.
Chat up your coworkers. If you have a job, chances are you have an environment with built-in social contact if you make a little effort. Instead, try engaging people by remarking on popular culture or sports. Being outgoing at work can be important. By being more outgoing, people will perceive you as more friendly and positive.
End on a high note. Leave the other person wanting more. A good way to accomplish this is by leaving the door open for future interaction. I haven't. What would you think of going together next Saturday? This will help the other person feel like you were listening to them. Talk to anyone and everyone. After you become a bit more comfortable talking to people you know, try talking to new people as you go through your day. But the more you approach people and get comfortable with making conversation, the easier it will become.
Method 2. Set specific, reasonable goals. Being outgoing is a tough goal to reach because it includes a lot of small behaviors. That is why it is a good idea to break this large goal down into smaller ones. Instead of telling yourself to be outgoing, set goals to have at least one conversation with a new person each day or to smile at five people every day.
These little victories will keep you going and make you feel ready for loftier challenges. Join a club. This gives you the opportunity to interact, usually in small-scale settings, with others who share an interest of yours. These situations can be great for shy people. Shared experiences can be a powerful bonding technique. Invite people over. Invite people to come over for a movie night or dinner party. Try creating events that will foster conversation. You could host a BYOB wine tasting, where everyone has to sip and compare notes.
Master a hobby. A hobby can help you feel more in control, which may help you to be more outgoing. They often give you a way to meet new people. And they have health benefits, such as a lower risk of depression. Dress for success. The way that you dress affects the way that you feel about yourself. Dressing in a way that expresses your personality and values can help you feel confident, and that will help you be more outgoing.
This will help you to carry that confidence into your interactions. Wearing a fun tie or a statement bracelet can be a way for others to break the ice with you. You can also compliment something someone else is wearing as a way to get acquainted. Be careful not to let judgments slip into these compliments, such as "That dress makes you look so thin! Instead, try something positive but nonjudgmental like "I love the design of that tie, it's so intricate" or "I've been looking for a pair of shoes like that, where did you get them?
Work on your existing friendships. Make sure to improve friendships with existing friends and the people you meet. Not only will you be more connected, but you'll be growing and gaining new experiences to share with both these groups of people.
Old friends are good practice. They can introduce you to new people or accompany you to places you would never go alone. Don't ignore them! They're probably going through similar things, too. Introduce people to each other. Part of being outgoing is helping others feel comfortable.
As you become more comfortable introducing yourself, spread the love by introducing other people to each other. Introducing people to each other helps ease social awkwardness. Think about what you know about each person -- what do they have in common? When you're talking to Janice from the yarn shop, take a moment to call out, "Hey, Steve!
This is Janice. We were just talking about that new band at the Factory last night. What'd you think? Method 3. Examine your body language. Your nonverbal communication, such as body language and eye contact, can say as much about you as your actual words. The way that you hold your body sends messages about you to others. On the other hand, you can express confidence and power by opening yourself up.
Plant your feet firmly when you stand or sit. Stand with your chest out and shoulders back. Avoid fidgeting, pointing, or shifting your weight. You can be more outgoing just by making eye contact with others. For example, if you look directly at a person, this is commonly interpreted as an invitation. The other person returning your gaze acts as an acceptance of that invitation. People who make eye contact while speaking are often considered more friendly, open, and believable.
Extroverts and socially confident people look more often, and for longer, at people they are speaking or interacting with.
Eye contact produces a feeling of connection between people, even when the eyes are in photographs or even sketched. Hold your gaze for between seconds before you break it again.
Express interest through body language cues. Many of these body language cues work to communicate romantic attraction, but they communicate non-romantic interest too. Be an active listener. Look at them while they speak. Repeat central ideas, or use them as part of your response.
The way you describe it makes it sound like it would be fun, though. The rest is other factors, including EQ. Hiring managers are even using an EQ test to sort through potential candidates. The core of an outgoing personality is confidence. However, there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding confidence, what it means and how to get it. The biggest myth is that confidence is a personality trait. To help you get started, check out these three simple yet effective techniques:. In order to connect with others, you need to become comfortable in your own skin.
This is what will naturally boost your confidence. Self-awareness is knowing yourself on the deepest level. What motivates you? What are your values and beliefs? A strong sense of self-awareness enables you to follow your purpose and live an authentic, fulfilling life. Knowing yourself is the key to truly connecting with others.
When someone asks you to go to a party, say yes! Rather than overthinking and making excuses, start making it a habit to say yes and take action. This simple mental trick will naturally boost your confidence. The next time you catch yourself hesitating, remember the power of the five second rule.
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